Bambi's Revenge
by Mike9305
Summary: A certain puppet is back for his revenge...and this time he's badder than ever. Join Andy's toys as they fight for survival as they're stalked one by one and killed yet again. Can Bambi be stopped? Sequel to New Toys Can Be Killer
1. Group Therapy Sessions

It was a quiet night at the Davis household...except for Mrs. Davis's orgasms that could wake up the whole neighborhood.

Buzz Lightyear was wide awake in young Andrew Davis's bedroom, however. He was resting under his owner's bed, staring up at the old, crusty boogers and mold on the bottom of Andy's bed. Suddenly, one of the boogers dropped down into his eyeball and he shot up.

"My eye!" He gasped, trying to rip the booger out. He finally flicked it out and heard a snicker from the closet.

"Rex? Is that you?" Buzz asked, quietly crawling towards the cracked open closet door. Suddenly, the door flew open, but nothing was inside. "You're losing it Buzz..."

Suddenly, Bambi shot out from the darkness, his face painted like a nightmare-ish clown, and grabbed a hold of Buzz's neck with both hands.

"Miss me?" He grinned, and cackled. He kneed Buzz in the balls and Buzz gasped for air. Andy sat up from his bed.

"What's going on?"

"GO BACK TO BED, YOU LITTLE POOP LICKER!" Bambi screeched, and a knife shot out of his mouth and directly at Andy. The small child screamed and turned to run but the knife flew into his throat and pinned him to the head of his bed.

"ANDY! NO!" Buzz screamed, shooting up from his sleeping position. It was now bright and sunny out. "Just a dream..."

"HI BUZZ!" Somebody screamed and Buzz pooped himself.

"Aw, shit!" He grumbled.

"What's that smell?" Malibu Rachel asked, fanning the air by her nose as she crawled under the bed with Buzz.

"I don't smell anything!" Buzz lied.

"BUZZ, DID YOU CRAP YOURSELF AGAIN!?" Rachel screamed, alerting all the toys in the bedroom.

"Shh, quiet, Rachel!" Buzz pleaded.

"I TOLD YOU!! YOU SHOULD SERIOUSLY CONSIDER INVESTING IN DIAPERS!"

All the toys in the bedroom by now were all pointing and laughing at Buzz. Rex was crapping uncontrollably all over the hardwood flooring and a G.I. Joe jeep sped by and slipped in the poop. The car spun out of control and crashed inside a pile of Mrs. Davis's diarrhea-stained thongs that had mushrooms growing on them. The G.I. Joe suffocated and died.

"That's enough!" A voice said abruptly, and the laughing ceased.

"Hello, Doctor McQuacker!!" An army man said quickly. A bright yellow rubber ducky hopped into Andy's bedroom, holding a clipboard under one wing, and his glasses in the other. He had on a serious expression.

"Are we all ready to begin today's group therapy session?" He asked the nearest toy, Hamm, his voice squeaking.

"Ready as we'll ever be, Doc."

"Very well then. Round the toys up, I'll be waiting at our usual spot."

Hamm alerted the other toys it was time for their group therapy for the day.

About 10 minutes later all the toys were gathered around a circle inside the Davis' attic.

"HAHAHAHA!! YOU ALL ARE STUPID WACKOS!!" A plastic, light-up Santa lawn ornament taunted all the toys in the therapy session.

"That's enough," Dr. McQuacker snapped, slamming the attic's door closed and waddling to his usual spot in the circle.

"YOU NO FUN, MR DUCKY."

"I've told you about a hundred times," The duck groaned. "It's McQuacker! Not 'ducky'! Just because that dumbass Molly named me Ducky doesnt mean it's my official name. Now I suggest you sit your little whitey ass down before I kick it so hard it'll-"

"DOCTOR!" Malibu Rachel interrupted. "The therapy session?"

Doctor McQuacker paused. "You're right. Back to reality, folks. How are we all doing this fine day?"

"TERRIBLE!!" Rex blurted out.

McQuacker got his clipboard ready. "How come?"

"ANDY'S BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP AND I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE HIM GETTING A COOLER TOY THAN ME!! I CANT HANDLE THE REJECTION!!"

"Who the HELL are you kidding, Rex?" Woody snapped. "Any toy is cooler than you. You're a plastic dinosaur. All you do is sit there and shit yourself."

"Like you're any better?" Rachel pointed out smirking.

About 6 months ago, Woody's body had been blown up. Thanks to the help of a Voodoo doll named Victor, Woody and the past (toy) victims of the Bambi toy-man slaughter were brought back to life...with some minor flaws.

Woody's head was now duct taped to a Barbie doll's body.

"Yeah, Woody!" Mr. Potatohead smirked. "You're a Transvestite cowboy. Like you should talk!"

"At least my girlfriend's not a fat ass!"

"At least I have one. That's right, we all heard that Bo Peep dumped your ass."

"YOU TOLD THEM!?" Woody screeched at Bo Peep.

Bo Peep, also a past victim, had been hot-glued back together, with a piece missing from her face...she had no left eye, and her body was full of noticeable cracks.

"That's right. Maybe now you'll think twice before calling me a slut."

"Well, I, for one, second Woody's notion of calling you a slut," Malibu Rachel smiled.

"You bitch-"

"I think we're getting a little carried away here," McQuacker quickly interrupted and the toys fell silent.

"YOU GUYS SUCK!!" Santa laughed.

"Can I say something?" Slinky spoke up after a moment. He had been torn apart brutally by Bambi, and was poorly taped together and now deformed.

"Go ahead," The rubber ducky got his pen ready, poised in his hand with the point nearly touching the paper.

"I would just like to add that we're most likely next week's garbage after Andy gets his new toys. Just look at us. We ain't exactly the sharpest looking turds in the toilet bowl..."

"Hey, yeah!" All the toys agreed.

"Guys! Are you all stupid?" Woody asked.

"OF COURSE THEY ARE!!" Santa cracked up, rolling around the attic floor laughing.

"Andy wouldn't just throw us away like that!"

"Maybe not us," Jesse pointed out. "But definitely you."

"Why me?" Woody snapped.

"Have you looked in a mirror lately? You're running around in a pink flowery dress with sparkly high heels! What 9 year old boy wants to play with that?"

The toys fell quiet until Rex farted rather loudly.

"Aw, gross! Prospector used to fart all those times he was raping me upside the wall back at the apartment in-" Jesse fell silent and stared at the gaping toys. "WHAT?" She snapped. "At least I ever got any!"

She had most of them there.

"Buzz, you seem quiet today?" McQuacker quickly changed the subject. "Everything alright?"

"Just a bad dream."

"Why don't you tell us about it?" The duck persisted, until they heard a car door slamming closed outside.

"YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE!! GO TO YOUR ROOM!!" A woman was heard screaming.

"I see Mrs. Davis is home," Rachel sighed.

"That concludes today's group therapy!" McQuacker said quickly.

"GET TO YOUR PLACES, EVERYBODY!" Woody yelled in a womanly voice and all the toys scrambled for the attic door and knocked it down and surfed on it down the flight of stairs.

"COW-A-BUNGA!" Rex screamed as loud as he could until the door flew into the hallway's wall and left a huge hole.

"If anybody asks, Molly did it!" Woody said. The toys all agreed and ran into Molly and Andy's bedrooms and into their spots.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT LOUD BANGING UPSTAIRS!?" Mrs. Davis screamed.

"HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW, IM RIGHT HERE YOU STUPID BITCH!" Andy hollered at his loving mother.

"THAT'S IT, NO DINNER AGAIN FOR YOU TONIGHT!"

"GOOD!" Andy screamed. "I'D RATHER STARVE THAN EAT THOSE HEAPING PILES OF SHIT YOU CALL FOOD!!"

"WHERE IS YOUR FATHER'S BELT!"

"UP YOUR ASS!"

"COME HERE YOU LITTLE BASTARD, LET ME SLAP YOUR ASS SO HARD YOU'LL WISH YOU WERE NICE TO ME!"

"This never gets old," Rachel commented, laughing as Andy and his mommy continued to have a squabble.

Andy stormed up to his bedroom and slammed the door, dramatically bursting into tears on his bed sheets.

"Poor Andy!" Woody whispered to Rachel.

"Yeah, whatever. So when's his party?"

"The party guests are expected to arrive tomorrow afternoon," Woody said, smiling.

"Ok...I've never been to a birthday party!"

"WHO SAID YOU'RE INVITED?" Mrs. Potatohead snapped.

"Shut the hell up! You're such a fat ass!" Rachel yelled.

"How the hell did you get in here? Andy slammed the door closed!" Woody gasped.

"I have my ways," The potato lady smirked.

"Yeah, Molly threw her in her and forgot about her cause she sucks that much," Rachel smiled at Mrs. Potatohead.

"You bitch! Who told you!? How'd you know!?"

"I have my ways," Rachel winked.

"Well whatever! I'm still suffering trauma from my babies being blown up..."

"You'll get over it. They were weird anyway!" Woody said and applied some bright red lipstick. "DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS?"

"Yes," Mrs. Potatohead gagged.

"Well you're a fat ass."

"WHY IS EVERYBODY CALLING ME THAT!" The plastic potato cried and ran away.

"I don't know..." Buzz said suddenly.

"ABOUT WHAT?" Woody snapped. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me! HEY, THAT POTATO SAID I LOOKED FAT! Well she's fat anyway. Maybe I'm being too hard. Who cares? ANYBODY GOT A BANANA?"

"PMS much?" Rachel raised an eyebrow.

"AS I WAS SAYING!" Buzz continued. "I have this feeling that Bambi is coming back to haunt us!"

"Don't be silly, Buzz Light-beer! Bambi is dead and gone!" Malibu Rachel reassured the nervous space ranger.

"Yeah, I guess so..."

Meanwhile, in an abandoned construction site...

A pile of bricks and rubble sat in it's same spot for months... Until today.

A bloody hand rose slowly from the rubble, and there was a low groan.

"LIGHT...YEAR...LIGHT...YEAR..."


	2. Party Crasher

The sun rose slowly the next morning, lighting up Andrew's bedroom.

"The light...it burns..." Rex hissed.

"Oh, shut up, Rex, nobody's buying your stupid Vampire act!" Rachel rolled her eyes at the mentally ill plastic dinosaur.

Andy sat up in his bed, yawning quietly. He looked at his Mickey Mouse calendar that had boogers stuck to it and suddenly screamed shrilly like a girl.

"TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!!" He stripped and quickly did the disco naked in the center of his bedroom until his mom opened the door.

"Andy, honey, would you like some eggs?" She asked in a motherly voice, carrying a breakfast tray full of foods. She looked up and saw her son in the nude and screamed at the top of her lungs, dropping the tray.

"MOM!!" Andy gasped, covering himself. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? I TOLD YOU TO KNOCK ON THE DAMN DOOR IF YOU'RE COMING IN!!"

"I WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU! EXCUSE ME IF I TRY TO BE NICE TO YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT!! I SHOULD'VE NEVER HAD YOU!!"

"GO TO HELL!!"

"NOT UNTIL I SEE YOU GO FIRST!" She grabbed a shattered piece of a bowl she dropped on the floor. Andy fled as fast as he could, running around the entire house naked as his crazy mother chased after him.

"A typical morning in the Davis house," Woody smiled, applying blush to himself.

Buzz ripped Andy's smelly socks off of himself. "Who's ready for the big birthday party?"

"THE PARTY'S TODAY!! NOOOO!!" Rex began peeing uncontrollably as he ran around in circles, urine shooting out in all directions.

Jesse the yodeling cowgirl waltz in, and opened her mouth to speak as some of Rex's pee shot into her mouth.

She swallowed and shot a dirty look at Rex.

"REX! BAD BOY!"

"I'm sorry mommy."

"I AIN'T YO MOMMY!"

"Shut up, slut," Rachel said.

"Wanna say that to my face, bitch?" Jesse raised both of her fists up and ran at Rachel. Rachel merely stepped to the left and Jesse went flying into the wall. She looked dazed and looked around at everyone.

"HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY FLYING TEA CUPS?" She said before falling unconscious.

"Flying tea cups?" Buzz raised an eye brow.

"I threw those filthy things away," Woody said, raising his shoulders. "I thought she didn't want them anymore."

Bo Peep gingerly stepped into the room.

"HEY, BABY!" Woody ran at Bo Peep.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! I'm very fragile," She sighed. "All because of that rotten doll that threw me down the stairs..."

"MOMMY I'LL BE A GOOD BOY I PROMISE!!" Andy wailed as he crawled up the stairs naked.

Woody took some pictures of Andy secretly with his father's digital camera before all the toys flew to their spots.

Andy burst into his bedroom, and the room suddenly smelled like shit.

"That kid needs a friggen bath!" Mr. Potatohead breathed.

"AGREED," All the toys said in unison.

Andy quickly clothed himself in a bright green t-shirt, blue short-shorts, and some white sandals. Woody and Bo Peep checked him out quickly before Andy hurried downstairs.

About an hour later the toys heard some noises outside.

"It's probably just Mrs. Davis raping another man..." Mrs. Potatohead sighed.

"No, the guests are here!" Hamm called from atop Andy's dresser. The toys all scrambled to look out the window and saw a Chinese boy step out of a small silver car carrying a box wrapped in light blue paper with polar bears everywhere. The Chinese boy began walking towards Andy's front door, but then, as if psychic, the boy suddenly looked up at the toys all in the window.

"Oh shit!" Woody screamed and quickly closed the blinds.

"That was a close one!" Rex whined, farting.

"REX!" Rachel scolded.

"Did he see us!?" Mrs. Potatohead screamed obnoxiously.

"Who cares, open the blinds again!" Mr. Potatohead commanded and the blinds flew open. A bunch of kids were swarming around the Davis household, carrying all kinds of presents! There were small ones, big ones, brown ones, yellow ones! Red box here, blue box there. Gifts were everywhere!

"I've got my eyes on that fabulicious little lad wearing the red sweater and-" Woody looked at the other toys who were giving him a weird look. "WHAT? I MEANT THE GIFT HE WAS HOLDING!"

"Whatever you say," Buzz said, and the toys continued to peep like the nosey bastards they were.

"We'll go get Molly's baby monitor ready for our spying purposes yet again, SIR!" Sarge yelled at Woody. Woody turned around and glared at the plastic green man.

"I mean MA'AM!" Sarge quickly corrected himself.

"That's better!" Woody smiled. "Ok, good idea. You go spy. We'll be waiting for the news!"

The army men got their gear ready and got Molly's baby monitor while the toys in Andy's room got the receiver. The army men all worked together and carried the monitor with all their might down the hallway. They grabbed one of Molly's jump ropes and used it to lower it to the first floor. As they did Mrs. Davis walked over.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS DOING IN THE HALLWAY?" She screeched and she stomped on it as hard as she could, destroying it as she stomped on it many more times.

"SHIT!" The army men screamed as Mrs. Davis pranced away happily.

"Ok, who wants chips?" She asked Andy's little friends at the party. "I'VE GOT COOL RANCH AND BARBEQUE. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHITS ALL WANT?"

The Chinese boy quickly moved away from everyone while they were distracted by chips and Mrs. Davis's PMSing problems.

"Ok, now what?" He whispered to his gift. The wrapping paper suddenly tore open as a bloody hand shot out and Bambi rose up from the dark, cold depths of the bright blue polar bear wrapped box.

"NOW..." Bambi grunted as he lifted himself out and landed on a coffee table with cigarette butts and sweaty bras scattered about it. "FOLLOW ME TO THE GARAGE," Bambi commanded.

"I don't wanna play games with you anymore!" The Chinese boy cried. "You're mean!"

"REMEMBER OUR BARGAIN, LING-LONG? YOU HELP ME AND I DON'T KILL YOU. YOU REFUSE TO HELP ME AND I SLIT YOUR THROAT."

Ling-Long nodded. "Yes, I remember..."

"Good boy. Now be a nice little Chinese boy and fetch me some booze."

"Some what?" The young boy asked, perplexed.

"SOME FRIGGEN BEER, YOU DUMBASS! MOVE, MOVE!!" Bambi screeched like a drill sergeant. Miraculously, not one person heard the conversation between the two as they feasted upon stale, 17 month old potato chips.

Ling-Long quickly eased his way into the kitchen and out to the garage.

"Smells like poop in here!" The boy commented to himself as he moved over to the fridge and pried it open. Some maggots were feasting upon some weird sandwich that had mold infesting the interior of the refrigerator. The young lad grabbed a couple of cans of beer and waddled inside quickly, handing the cans to Bambi who was still standing impatiently on the filthy coffee table.

"It's about time!" Bambi snapped, opening all of the cans. "Go grab me the soda bottles from the kitchen."

Ling-Long came back a moment later with the soda bottles. Bambi quickly opened the bottles and dumped all of the cola into Mrs. Davis's fake potted plants and quickly began filling the bottles back up with some Budweiser.

"What are you doing?" The small boy asked, confused.

"Shut the hell up," Bambi snapped, continuing his duty. "Ok, now bring me into the kitchen! NOW!!"

Ling-Long picked Bambi up and brought him into the kitchen, placing him on top of the kitchen counter. Bambi quickly began opening all of the drawers in the kitchen. "AHA! Ling-Long! Get over here!"

"What is it?" Ling-Long asked, stepping towards Bambi slowly.

"Do you think this is sharp enough?" Bambi asked, digging in the drawer.

"Sharp enough for what?"

"FOR THIS!" Bambi suddenly yelled, pulling out a huge knife and stabbing the Chinese boy in the throat as blood gushed out. The Chinese boy screamed before being stabbed and fell to the floor. Bambi hopped on top of him and chopped the poor child's nose off and quickly threw it in the macaroni salad Mrs. Davis had prepared for the guests. Bambi laughed and quickly dragged Ling-Long's body out of the kitchen and into the garage just as Mrs. Davis came in a moment later.

"WHAT'S ALL THE NOISE IN HERE?" She screamed, but saw nobody was in here. "...Oh. WHO WANTS MACARONI SALAD!?" She grabbed the bowl of macaroni salad and exited as Bambi walked in from the garage a second later...without Ling-Long. Bambi quickly ran back into the living room where all the children were playing Twister and eating the macaroni salad Mrs. Davis was serving.

"Ew, there's boogers in mine!" A little boy said, disgusted.

"Sorry, must've fallen in when I sneezed all over it earlier!" Mrs. Davis smiled sweetly, then frowned as the kids looked at her, horrified. "IT'S JUST A COUPLE OF DAMN BOOGERS, THEY WON'T FRIGGEN KILL YOU! EAT MY DAMN FOOD, YOU BRATS!"

The kids quickly shoveled the macaroni salad into their mouths. Bambi finished up adding all of the beer into the soda pop bottles and hid as Mrs. Davis came over and started giving beer out to kids, unknowingly.

"This soda tastes funny..." A small child comment, scrunching his nose up.

"IT'S DIET COLA, CAUSE IM WATCHING MY WEIGHT, YOU LITTLE SHIT. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? IF YOU DO THEN I'LL SHOVE THIS BOTTLE UP YOUR ASS!! Seconds, anybody?" Mrs. Davis smiled charmingly. The group of children all got refills and continued to take large swigs of beer, unbeknownst to themselves and Mrs. Davis. Until they began puking all over Mrs. Davis's living room set.

"WHAT THE HELL!!" Mrs. Davis hollered. "MY PRICELESS LOVE SOFAS!! WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU LITTLE BRATS!!"

"Mrs. Davis! Your soda made me sick!" A frail little nerdy kid cried.

"Don't be ridiculous, the soda is perfectly fine you little sissy!" Mrs. Davis snapped at the 8 year old. Just to prove it to him, she poured herself a tiny bit in a Dixie cup and slurped it down.

"Mmm...that's pretty good cola..." She grinned for a moment then frowned and went wide-eyed. "HOLY SHIT. THIS ISN'T SODA! IT'S BEER!" With fire in her eyes she ran after Andy. "WHAT DID YOU DO YOU LITTLE ASSWIPE!!"

"It wasn't me this time mommy, I swear!!"

"THIS TIME!?" Mrs. Davis screeched. "WHEN ELSE HAVE YOU BEEN DRUGGING MY DRINKS?!"

"Well..."

"GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" Mrs. Davis ran after Andy as he flew up the stairs and locked himself in the bathroom.

"OPEN THE DAMN DOOR BEFORE I KNOCK IT DOWN MYSELF!" His mother screamed. By now the party guests were throwing up, falling to the floor unconscious, and running around stripping and humping random objects; in other words, the 8 and 9 year olds had gotten their first drunken experience.

"All according to plan..." A dark shadow laughed from the potted plant in the corner.

After an hour, everybody (that wasn't unconscious by now...) was gathered around Andy as he opened his many presents.

"Socks?" He held up lime green socks.

"FROM ME!!" A little boy giggled, then threw up.

"Ew."

"MY CARPET!" Mrs. Davis whined, biting her nails.

Andy tore some red and brown plaid designed wrapping paper off a box and held up the box, reading the big, bold, yellow letters. "Empress Mel-On-Head. You can now add the evil empress to your Buzz Lightyear toy collection and reenact the famous battles between Buzz and one of his most powerful arch-enemies, the evil alien empress herself!"

Inside the box sat an action figure about the size of Buzz Lightyear. The alien empress had a pale, green-ish tone to her skin, and had tentacles sprouting from her head, with cold, gray eyes. She wore a dark, purple, plastic cloak that dropped all the way to her knees, where she had bendable legs.

"Oh boy!" Andy exclaimed. "Thanks so much, Robby!"

Robby was unconscious in the corner.

Andy viciously tore Empress Mel-On-Head's box open and pressed one of the three buttons in her back.

"NOT TODAY, BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!" The empress called in a seductively sexy voice.

"I think I'm going to like little miss Mel-On-Head..." Bambi grinned to himself in the potted plant, and began cackling maniacally. Until Mrs. Davis threw a shoe at the potted plant, telling it to shut the hell up.


	3. Nice Knowing You, Cowgirl

"YEAH, WELL YOU CAN GO TO HELL TOO! A LITTLE BUDWEISER ISN'T GOING TO KILL YOUR KID! BESIDES, HE THREW UP ALL OVER MY LIVING ROOM! YEAH, I KNOW! WHATEVER!" Mrs. Davis slammed her front door closed after screaming at the last of the party guest's parents. She was now going to court, being sued by every parent of Andy's friends that had attended the party.

"Mommy?" Andy asked from the middle of the staircase, gaping at his mother.

"What is it?"

"Are you in trouble?"

"OF COURSE I'M IN TROUBLE, YOU LITTLE SHIT! YOU JUST HAD TO REPLACE THE SODA WITH BEER, DIDN'T YOU!" Mrs. Davis roared ferociously.

"But I didn't do it!" Andy cried.

"OH YEAH? THEN WHO DID? DID YOUR TOYS JUST GET UP AND WALK AROUND AND REPLACE THE SODA WITH BEER!!!!"

"I don't know!!"

"Just go to your room. We will talk about this after I scream 'GO TO HELL!!' to the incoming phone calls I'll receive later."

Andy began weeping and ran up to his room, dramatically dropping himself onto his bed sheets.

"What's eating him?" Mr. Potatohead asked, scratching his head.

"Him and his mom probably got in a fight," Woody said, nodding.

"CAN YOU GUYS SHUT THE HELL UP, I'M TRYING TO TAKE A CRAP IN PEACE!!" Rex screamed. Miraculously, Andy didn't hear a thing. He was too busy sobbing into his pillow.

"YES!!" Mrs. Davis suddenly screamed from downstairs and bolted up the stairs and barged into Andy's room.

"What?" Andy sat up, eyes red.

"OUR NEIGHBORS ARE MOVING, THEIR HOUSE GOT SOLD!!"

"REALLY?" Andy's face lit up. Both mother and son proceeded to strip and disco naked.

Woody grinned. "I like this dance."

"You only like it cause Andy's naked," Mr. Potatohead pointed out.

"Whatevs!" Woody giggled.

"Never again!" Mr. Potatohead gagged.

"I wonder who our new neighbors are going to be?" Bo Peep wondered out loud.

"Hopefully not a crazy cat lady..." Rachel sighed. The toys all agreed.

"When are they moving?" Andy asked.

"Right now," Mrs. Davis cried happily.

"Wow, that was fast!" Mr. Potatohead comment. All the toys climbed up to the window and watched as Mrs. Davis and Andy celebrated, naked, outside. They did the macarena in the street, causing a horrified old woman to swerve and plow right into a large oak tree, killing herself.

"Come on, sweetie!" Mrs. Davis laughed as they started pissing all over their neighbor's car as they packed their things into it.

"Do you mind?" Mrs. Snargleberry asked, scowling at Andy and his mother.

"SHUT UP, BITCH!" Mrs. Davis ordered, slapping her across the face. Mrs. Snargleberry's mouth hung open as she pressed her hand where she got slapped, dumb-founded.

"Yeah, that's right, you walk away!" Mrs. Davis continued as Mr. Snargleberry quickly led his wife away from their nutcase of a neighbor and they both got into their car.

"Hey! I am not finished!" Mrs. Davis ran out into the street and starting doing the chicken dance. The Snargleberry's quickly backed out of their driveway, and Mrs. Davis narrowly dodged getting run over. She laughed and pointed at them. "Missed me, missed me! Now ya gotta-"

The naked woman was abruptly interrupted when the Snargleberry's floored their car, completely running her over, and sending her to the ground. They didn't even stop to make sure she was dead. How rude.

"Mom!" Andy cried out, running over to his mother who was sprawled out in the street naked.

"I'll be okay...just a scratch..." Mrs. Davis reassured him as she sat up. Suddenly, a loud horn blared throughout the area, and Andy screamed and ran away.

"Get back here and help me you bastard!" Mrs. Davis screamed before a large movie truck ran her over.

"Ouch!" The toys exclaimed as they watched from their window spot. An EGGMAN moving truck pulled into the driveway next door, followed by a pick-up truck and mini-van. A large, tall man stepped out of the pick-up truck, wearing a tank top showing off huge muscles. Next came his wife, who stepped out of the mini-van. She had beautiful red hair that went a little bit past her shoulders, and bangs that covered her forehead. Her attire was a bright blue jogging suit. Then came a teenage boy, with black, shaggy hair and huge headphones on. He had on a black and gray striped hoodie on, with dark blue jeans, and black and white checkered shoes. His back was slumped a bit and he walked with his hands in his pockets. Behind him were two twin girls, both blondes with cute little pig-tails. One was wearing a pink t-shirt and shoes, with blue overalls, the other with a blue t-shirt and black shoes, with pink, denim overalls. Then last, and probably least, came a second son. He looked to be around the age of the twin girls, give or take a year or two. He had short, black hair and was wearing a red t-shirt, blue jeans, and black shoes with red laces.

"I can already tell these people are weirdos!" Malibu Rachel snapped everybody back to reality.

"How?" A toy questioned.

"Just look at the family! Those twin girls? So 90's. And the youngest son trying to look bad ass? Cliched. And the older brother who looks like he will serve absolutely no purpose and will be oblivious to most things is present, as well!"

"You haven't actually met them!" Woody rolled his eyes. "They could be the most normal family you'll ever meet!"

"After living with this woman," Rachel pointed to Mrs. Davis's naked body, which was still in the street, "any family will seem like the most normal I've ever met..."

"Point taken," Woody nodded in agreement.

"I wonder if they have any toy dinosaurs!" Rex pondered.

"Who gives a crap about toy dinosaurs anymore!" Jesse said. "Everybody's into cowgirls these days."

"Totally!" Woody chimed in.

"Yeah, no," Rachel laughed. "Everybody's into Malibu Rachel dolls."

"I beg to differ!" A toy said.

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" Jesse screamed, and a flaming knife shot through the crowd of toys and pinned Jesse by her throat into the wall.

"Oh, shit!" Woody gasped and all the toys broke into havoc as Bambi shot out from the center of the commotion, cackling evilly.

"Bambi?" Buzz squinted through the mass of chaos and gasped. It couldn't be true! Bambi laughed as he grabbed a helpless teddy bear and ripped it's head off, tearing it's stuffing out and throwing it around as if it were confetti. A piece of the fluff landed on Rex.

"OH MY GOD!!!!" He screamed shrilly. "GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME! HELP!" The toys screamed even louder at the sight of another toy's stuffing flying everywhere. Buzz fought to run through the crowd, all of which was running in the opposite direction of him. He was trying to reach Bambi. He finally broke through the crowd, but Bambi was missing. He looked left and right. There was too much chaos taking place to even spot him. Suddenly, the toys all heard Andy coming up the stairs and everybody rushed into their positions just as the door burst open.

"Today was a good day," Andy smiled, and noticed his teddy bear torn to pieces in the center of the bedroom. "Buster!" Andy growled, blaming the mess on his dog who died a week ago from eating spoiled sausages.

Buzz gulped and turned towards where Jesse was stabbed. Her body and the knife were missing!

"Bambi!" He said under his breath. Andy got ready for bed and was asleep in minutes. Two hours later it was dark out. Buzz found Woody and Rex huddled together under Andy's bed.

"What're you guys doing?"

"SHH! He'll hear you!" Woody punched Buzz in the head to shut him up.

"Ow! Woody! You know Andy's a heavy sleeper! He never-"

"I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP!" Woody screeched, punching him in the head again.

"Cut it out! What the hell's wrong with you?"

"He is watching..." Rex managed to squeak.

"Who?" Buzz raised an eyebrow. Woody and Rex pointed toward's Andy's dresser. Bambi's eyes were watching from the darkness beneath it.

"Is that R.C.?" Buzz asked.

"IT'S BAMBI YOU MORON!" Woody began crying. "We're going to die! We're going to die!"

"Woody, calm down, if it was Bambi why would he be sitting there staring at us without moving?"

"He's not."

"What're you-" Buzz was interrupted as he was whacked in the back of the head with a metal crowbar and fell to the floor. Rex began pooping as he ran away.

"Rex! Don't just leave me here!" Woody pleaded.

"IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU, COWGIRL!"

Woody turned to Bambi just in time to see the swift movement of the metal crowbar nailing him in the face.


End file.
